He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
