The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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