so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize