Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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