Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
