I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Randomize
