I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
