i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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