I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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