Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
