dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
