My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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