Do vagina's smell?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
