Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
