remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
