Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
