What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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