I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
