My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
