tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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