Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
