I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
