That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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