Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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