Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
