So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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