a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
