i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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