Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
