But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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