Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
