My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
