New low: just hacked my moms facebook
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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