We're facebook friends in real life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this boner is exhausting
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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