everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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