my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The best revenge is premature balding
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
