he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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