I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
