Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
