All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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