OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
