I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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