We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
