i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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