You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
