Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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