Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize