Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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