You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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