My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
