whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
