Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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