She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize