Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
