Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
