everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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