Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You made out with two different species that night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
